Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Conversation Starters

It's an age old dilemma when meeting new people at a business event. “If I meet someone what am I going to say?” You wonder how to start a conversation and worry that you’ll sound silly commenting on the usual stuff like sports scores and the weather for the billionth time. Here’s how to change that.

When you say hello and he/she responds with the usual, “How are you?”, answer in this way:

“Today I am feeling ____(see list of feelings below) because ______.”

The list of feelings you can choose from are: Loving | Joyful | Happy | Peaceful | Grateful | Fearful | Angry | Sad | Hurt.

Do not use any other words
. It might sound something like this:

Them: “How are you?”
You: “Thanks for asking. Today I am feeling peaceful because most of the things I wanted to get done this week have been accomplished.”

The reason it works is that you are answering with openness and honesty -- actually opening the door to a more meaningful conversation. Your answer will create questions and off you go on a great conversation!

What about the words fear, anger, sad and hurt. Should you use them? Absolutely. If it is what you are feeling, say it. “Today I am feeling angry (or) sad because it cost me $50 to fill my gas tank.” “Today I am feeling hurt because a long time friend in moving back east.”

It is the open and honest sharing that will win you a new friend!

This works when you state feelings and reasons that are real. Connecting with people requires a little risk… take the chance so that you can reap the reward.

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